Prototype

Stuck in Manhattan

Its being totalled again

Virus is Rampant


You are the Alex Mercer

A walking super weapon


Claw, Blade, fist or whip?

Or be more conventional?

The world will be yours


Not just fighting in the field.

Your mind is the main battle

Eve

Describe the Eve world

In just one little Haiku?

Nope. Not happening.

Halo Wars

Before Reaches fall

The Covenant fleets attack

Looking, ancient tech


UNSC must defend

And discover the secrets


Bit short for Halo

Shallow for an RTS

Too basic for some


Captures Halo universe

A must for you spartan fans

F.E.A.R. 2

Scary girl is back

Her hair really needs a trim

She's more pissed this time


They took her babies, left her

Beckert is the only chance


Hordes of replicants

And the odd ghost or zombie(?)

A mech section too!


Gun down foes in bullet time

Makes for a grusome ballet

Street Fighter 4

Quarter Circle Front

Once again for good measure

Then punch for ultra


Sounds really very simple

For a move which is so cool


Do It in Battle

Is a Different Story

But it looks so good


I will not throw the remote

Just Curse the cheap computer

Banner

Many thanks are due

For the new flag for haiku

Puhnkss, take a bow

(punksv2@hotmail.com for your graphic needs.

Halo 3

Earth's last bitter stand

Hostile Covenant cometh

In search of the ark


Need to stop activation

To halt the rings cleansing fire


No Chief, please don't die

Do think about Cortana

She needs you the most


Super Soldier and A.I.

In holy matrimony?

Star Wars Force Unleashed - By Atomic Piranha

Lots of blue lightning

Lots of stormtroopers corpses

Star Wars on steroids

Mass Effect - By Atomic Piranha

Shoot aliens in

The face, after hearing their

Lives' stories of course

Test Drive Unlimited

Tons of cars to drive

Miles of roads to test them on

Don't forget bikes too!


Speeding, being caught by cops

Or crashing into a tree


Real it may not be

Perhaps is for the best

Other wise It'd hurt


Racing online is quite cool

Not for everyone though

Rockstar Table Tennis

What is that? Ping pong!

An xbox 360 game?

3 quid in bargain bin?


I'll guess I'll give it a try

It might not be really bad.


Not bad actually

Innovative game system

Different types of spin


If you have a good rally

You get some groovy music

Earth Defense Force

Fight the Ravagers

Are basically giant ants

A little cliché


Bad dialogue is a drag

Graphics aren't that great either


Strangely addictive

Tons of levels to play through

Smash plenty of shit


Not sure what I really think

I'm going to play some more

Fallout 3 (extended tanka)

Nuclear waste land

Post apocalypticia

Mutation is rife


Your Dad is the saviour

Plan to purify the wastes

You make your own path

Make sure you choose it wisely

For it affects all


Use VATs targeting system

Look there goes another head

Far Cry 2 (extended tanka)

Horrid civil war

Parade around with a gun

Which side will you take?


Ambushes, bush fires and death

Make colourful safari


Watch out, the natives!

For they do not like strangers

You heal up well though


Buddies will come to your aid

Be careful how you treat them

Left 4 Dead (extended tanka)

Four Loan Survivors

Trapped inside hellish city

Fight for survival


Plenty of Ammunition

Because you will need it all


Never ending fight

With only three pals for help

Towards your rescue


Are you ready to take flight?

For it will be a hard slog.

Haiku Definition

In response to my introduction to Haiku Review I mentioned that a three line poem is perhaps not the best way to review poetry. Well the haiku was originally longer and then was split into two, the first half be the 5-7-5 structure and then two lines were written in response both with 7 syllables. This then would be followed by another 5-7-5 and then 7-7, making the haiku potentially limitless. Whilst I'm not intending to produce anything limitless, or even epic, I do however think that the extended haiku would be a greater way to review games in verse form. I am aware still that they'll not perform much more than a summarising function and capture the feel of a game, but that is the intention; I still want people to make up their own minds about if it is good or not.

(Much of this post was taken from Jane Reichhold's 'Another Attempt To Define Haiku' as she is far more knowledgeable than I on the subject. Page found by Mittens)

Gears of War 2 (extended Tanka)

Marcus, Carbine, Dom

Are back for another one

Cole train and baird too


Dom searches hard for lost wife

Follows a Dangerous path

Big muscle men grunt.

Killing hordes, menacing bugs.

Time to feed chainsaw.


Fun for those who liked gears one

Very homoerotic

Fallout 3

Nuclear holocaust

Post apocalyptic

There goes another head

Far Cry 2

Horrid civil war

Parade around with a gun

Watch out for the natives

Half Life 2

Guns and crabs Galore

Does not change the blatant fact

Vance wants Freeman's pipe

(written by Leigh)

Dead Space

Watch out for those aliens

Strategic dismemberment

Shit, I've died again

Tomb Raider Underworld

Voluptuous Gal

Is still searching for trinkets

This time she's dirty

Left 4 Dead

Four Loan Survivors

Trapped inside hellish city

Watch out! Don't get bit!

Lego Batman

Smashing stuff is fun

Killing Robin is better

Studs, studs and more studs

Gears of War 2

Big muscle men grunt.

Killing hordes of stupid aliens.

Time to feed chainsaw.

Welcome to Haiku Review

Hello all and welcome to, what I like to think, is an experiment in gaming. As many people may have noticed, there are many games reviews websites on the internet, yet aside from a few differences between them, they all seem to be the same. The idea of Haiku Review is to change that, to introduce a fresh take on what is pretty stagnant at the moment by reviewing games (past and present) in the Japanese art form, the Haiku.

For those of you who aren't that clear on what exactly a haiku is, it is basically a three line poem with 5 syllables on the first line, 7 syllables on the second and 5 again on the last. Here's an example for you:

Writing a haiku?
Its very simple really
five, seven, five, done.

Nothing amazing, but I think you get the picture. Unlike most reviews sites, where reviews are posted when new games come out, Haiku Review will work differently; more a "ad hoc" basis, but new a hiku will always be added. If you want to add your own or want to see one written, then just give me a PM.

Just finally, I do realise that the haiku isn't the best form of games review, its a bit of fun really. Enjoy!